The wonderful people at DESPAIR, INC®. (fine makers of Demotivators®, DespairWear®, and the half-empty Pessimist's Mug®) have done it again with Valentine BitterSweets®. Because:AT DESPAIR, INC.®, we believe motivational products create unrealistic expectations, raising hopes only to dash them. That's why we created our soul-crushingly depressing Demotivators® designs, so you can skip the delusions that motivational products induce and head straight for the disappointments that follow!
The BitterSweets are available in three collections: "Dejected," "Dysfunctional," and "Dumped." Sayings include:
PEAKED AT 17 - TABLE FOR 1 - A FINE WHINE - MOMMY ISSUES - PURE NAUSEA - WE HAD PLANS - ANNULMENT - I BEEN CREEPIN - P.S. I LUV ME - DO MY DISHES - PAROLE IS UP! - AWFUL INLAWS - SUB PRIME - I WANT HALF - MUTUAL DISGUST - I GOT SOBER - HE FIT U FAT - DOG IS CUTER - TRADIN YOU IN - FORGET WE MET - SHE IS 22! - HE HAS A JOB
In related news, NECCO®, manufacturer of the "real" Sweethearts®, discarded its collection of phrases from the past 145 years and asked the American public to "tell us how they express their love." In an online poll, The People responded:
Maybe these new SweetHearts® are more depressing than the BitterSweets®?
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2 comments:
Hey these are the hottest candies going around my work digs. All 3 demotivator collections were available to choose from.
I wonder what happens when you eat words like "PURE NAUSEA" or "MUTUAL DISGUST."
Can't be good for digestion : )
<3 S
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