One Of The Most Important Things I've Ever Read...

...with my heart. I've come across many of these concepts with my brain before but it ain't the same. Give it some time ... check a few of the articles, maybe.

Robert Gurney on Codependence Recovery.

"The term, 'Codependence' is an inaccurate and somewhat misleading term for the phenomenon it has come to describe. A more accurate term would be something like outer-dependence, or external dependence. Because we have dysfunctional relationships internally, we have dysfunctional relationships externally."

"Traditionally in this society women were taught to be codependent on - that is take their self-definition and self-worth from - their relationships with men, while men have been taught to be codependent on their success/career/work."

"We do not know how to Love our self in healthy ways because our parents did not know how to Love themselves. We were raised in shame-based societies that taught us that there is something wrong with being human. The messages we got often included that there is something wrong: with making mistakes; with not being perfect; with being sexual; with being emotional; with being too fat or too thin or too tall or too short or too whatever. As children we were taught to determine our worth in comparison with others. If we were smarter than, prettier than, better grades than, faster than, etc. then we were validated and got the message that we had worth. "