Saying I Love You: A Manifesto

Poet Barrett Watten wrote, "If the first casualty of war is truth, the weapon of choice for its destruction is language."

Truth always gets destroyed by language -- not just in war. Studies show that body talk is more dependable than words.

The body knows.

Language is a device of the left brain which tries to explain what the right brain already understands. Knowing sometimes gets lost when translated into words. The left brain doesn't always get it right.

Even the words, I LOVE YOU - which I think is the most useful sentence in our language and closest to truth - is a lie. I don't believe that You and I are separate. We're LOVE. Jean-Paul Sartre said, "The other is hell."

Consider the way you communicate with a lover. Or the way a mother communicates with her unborn child. Or the experiments that show how twins communicate with each other. Fewer words. No words (a lover can lie with words, but the loved one will either recognize the lie or spend a lot of energy in denial. Our children instantly know when we lie to them).

We don't feel separate from each other in these relationships because the connections are palpable: lovers physically join together as one, the fetus and mom inhabit one body, and twins spend nine months together in close quarters. We feel part of the one.

There is a word for this way of communicating: telepathy. But it's more like empathy. We all know this space; we get to it by loving. It's not a failure to find words.

It's the entrance to a new consciousness.

If you love everyone, you will know how everyone feels. If everyone loves you, everyone will know how you feel. It is where we're heading. A lot of cultures we called "primitive" or "pre-literate" are already there.

I'm not saying that the word is dead or that words aren't beautiful (there's a little bit of truth in everything). I think we'll need more words until we feel safe enough to go into the silence together. If we each practise loving everyone, we'll get there.

Until then,


Say it.

Write it.

Spray it.


I LOVE YOU.