On Romantic Love

"I love everyone, especially you."
- Lyle Lovett

As long as I look at my lover through my soul's vision, he is perfect. Love is the domain of souls. Our culture calls this perfect vision, "infatuation" and says it's only supposed to last six months to two years.

We're going about it all wrong. What if we could maintain perfect vision? What if we could calmly talk about all the negative distractions that bring us down, and keep our focus on our lover's soul? Why would the bliss of romantic love ever have to end?

If I fixate on distractions of ego like "What's in it for me?" or "Will this person best fufill my needs?" or "Will he remember to put the toilet seat down?", I'm not seeing with my soul. The words to end such ego based questions are I Love You. This is not an easy practice -- at first. Diane Ackerman, who has written many books about love, writes:

If I allow you the space to become the person you are capable of becoming, then the person that you no longer wish to be, that has to be detoxed before you can transform to your next higher level, is bound to show his or her face a few times. Am I as your partner, strong enough to stay the course and understand what's happening here?

Ackerman goes on to tell us why romantic love is the brass ring of all love relationships:

Energy can achieve its highest manifestation only in an environment where it is allowed, totally and completely, to be what it is. That is what ... any deeply committed love relationship, is, at its best.

Once we get a taste of loving, we naturally soften our hearts to the rest of the world. Social change and evolution is happy people spreading happiness. Naomi Wolf wrote:

Love freely given between equals is ... a very recent historical possibility ... it is also the enemy of some of the most powerful interests of this society.