Finding Love

The word, “love” can mean many things: there is no definition of love. Here, I’m mostly meaning, “connection to source/universe/God/your higher self,” and/or “connection to others” as a noun, and “honouring that connection” as a verb. I’m trying to get clear with the vocabulary because if I say something like, “All you need is love,” it’s true, but the message could be received on many different levels.

After seven years of research, I’m convinced that there is a lot of love on this planet and that the world doesn’t actually need more. Everyone wants to love somebody; who doesn’t want to do what they love? Everyone seems to be looking for love -- trying to find love. The biggest problem is that no one knows how to receive love. Love is abundant, but we’re so blocked we can’t open to it. You don’t seek love! You only open to it.

The journey into love is a feeling experience, not an intellectual pursuit. And it's vital: if we're cut off from the depths of our heart, the disconnect is profound. We're lost. Everything seems random. We have no intuition or inner guidance. We have no idea what we want. The heart intelligence is the direct knowingness of experience rather than a perception coming from an intellectual concept. We are trained to think, but the heart knows.

When our receiver for love is busted, we might give and give and give more, and then we get tired and angry and feel unappreciated. Or we take and take and take, receiving nothing. Love is not something one could offer for consumption. It is not consumed.

It is not better to give than receive. Both are required to transcend this duality—when we’re connected, we do both simultaneously. Love doesn’t keep track of who gives or receives.

Luckily, the solution is simple. You only have to intend. Say, “I release all of the blocks that prevent me from receiving and feeling love. I now open to love.” Do this every day. Do this in moments of fear. And breathe deeply. Don’t be dramatic about it—just make sure you’re breathing all the way. Realize that this is a process. Maybe it’s life-long: I can’t tell you because I’ve not finished. And maybe I’m thinking about these things more because I’ve had to get through some of my own blocks to receive a few beautiful gifts this week (for which I feel gratitude beyond words).

The other task, much more difficult, is to stay in the heart...always. Intend to do everything from love. When you come across a fear, realize that love is infinite and fears are not. Love will allow you to move through any fear, if you stay in it and stay present (this is also the way to lose addictions, which are really just distractions to connection).

My heart/brain model: the heart, continually flowing and in the moment, leads. The brain carries out the heart’s orders. It takes practice to keep your heart in the moment, connected to the truth that is love. If you lose your connection to love/source, even for a millisecond, you may believe you feel feelings that come from fear (jealousy, hate, etc.). This leads to people “thinking” that the heart is irrational. Don’t panic, though. Just return to love.

Crazy, but when I remember to do this, I welcome fear. Its arrival only means that I'm ready to get beyond it and grow into a new, deeper understanding of love. Love finds me.